Awhile ago, I took a leave of absence from work, after breaking myself quite badly.

Initially I convinced myself that I could work effectively, and tried hard to do so. Perhaps the large amounts of pain relief I was taking altered my perception of reality. I was constantly cancelling meetings due to pain, and then feeling bad about it. Finally I decided to take a long break in order to focus on my recovery and feel less bad about it.

It was absolutely the right decision, and like many 'right decisions' my only regret is that I didn't take that decision earlier. And for this, I apologise to my colleagues who had to deal with me at half or less-than-half effectiveness for months. You have all been very lovely and supportive.

For those that may be interested, in August of 2021, I had a reasonably uninteresting accident (flat shoes, flat ground, middle of the day, fell over) which resulted in an (as described by my surgeon) impressive injury to my dominant arm. The injury itself is known, I'm told, as a terrible triad injury, and, you know, terrible is in the name, so it's not great. I am lucky though, I have the means to throw as much physical therapy at this as possible, because while my hospital stay and multiple surgeries would have been covered by Medicare, physical therapy would not have been, and I started out going to, on average, 3 to 4 sessions each week.

Ange's arm in a brace, taken during the early weeks of recovery.
Early days.
X-ray taken on 11 August 2021, the day of the injury.
11 August 2021 — the day of the accident.
CT scan slice from 11 August 2021 showing the extent of the elbow injury.
CT scan, same day.
Lateral elbow X-ray from 11 October 2021, after the first surgery.
11 October 2021 — after the first surgery.
Lateral elbow X-ray from 7 February 2022, after further surgery.
7 February 2022.
Lateral elbow X-ray from 20 November 2023, after the third and final surgery.
20 November 2023 — after the third and final surgery.

While the extended period of repeated surgery (three over 18 months), lots of physical therapy, and pretty disabling and constant pain is mostly at an end, the impact is and will continue to be persistent. I'm still building strength and function, though I'm doing much better and most importantly, I have regained my independence, albeit with some physical workarounds. My left (non-dominant) arm/hand is feeling far more useful than it used to be! And I keep telling myself that switching so many tasks to my non-dominant arm/hand has been good for my brain.

I originally wrote this post soon after that leave of absence started, and something made me want to revisit it today. I think to turn it from a 'this happened to me' post into a 'what did I learn' post.

So what did I learn? As with most life lessons, I imagine this will continue to evolve, but here are the three lessons that are currently top of mind.

  • Taking a break for illness, injury or other trauma, should (almost) be mandatory
  • Cognitive therapy is even more powerful than I thought it was (I may write an article on my experience with this and how I see it applies to development)
  • Trauma is weird (I'm still unpicking this one, so I'm not sure it's a lesson yet … it includes "time spent picking apart what might have been can be pretty confronting")